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Updated: September 18, 2025 How To

Turning angry customers into allies — and opportunities

By Nancy Marshall, Marshall Communications
Nancy Marshall of Marshall Communications
Photo / Tim Greenway
Nancy Marshall

Dealing with angry customers — whether face-to-face at a resort or through heated emails and social media posts — can be one of the most intimidating parts of hospitality and customer service. Yet, it’s also one of the most important.

Handled well, an angry encounter can transform a critic into a loyal advocate. Handled poorly, it can damage your brand’s reputation and cost you future business.

In a recent workshop I led for a resort management team, I outlined practical steps for responding to angry guests both online and in person. Here’s a roadmap you can adapt to any type of business. 

Apologize and acknowledge feelings

The very first step is to apologize for how the person feels — even if your company didn’t cause the problem. The simple act of acknowledging frustration and showing empathy can lower the temperature of the conversation.

Use phrases like the following: 

  • “I understand how that would be upsetting."
  • “I can see why you feel frustrated.”
  • “I’m sorry this has been your experience.”

This kind of language shows that you care, which often matters more to the guest than the actual issue itself.

Practice empathy, even when it’s hard

Sometimes, a guest’s anger is about more than the situation at hand. People may be bringing other life stresses into the conversation, and you become the outlet for those emotions.
 
It helps to visualize them as a crying baby who needs attention. Think of every guest as having a sign around their neck saying, “Make me feel important.” Even if you can’t fix everything, you can make the guest feel heard.

Stay calm and listen intently 

When someone is shouting or firing off hostile emails, it’s natural to feel defensive. But the best response is to stay calm, composed and laser-focused on listening. Don’t just think about what you’re going to say next — truly listen to their words and tone.

Active listening techniques — like nodding, paraphrasing what they’ve said or writing down their concerns — help show you’re fully engaged.

Assure them of a solution 

Once you’ve listened, reassure them: “We will work to resolve this.” Then, invite them to be part of the solution:

  • “How would you like to see this resolved?”
  • “What outcome would feel fair to you?”

Involving the guest not only empowers them but also gives you insight into what will actually make them satisfied. Sometimes their desired fix is much simpler than you imagined.

Follow through and deliver 

The most important part of the process is keeping your word. If you promise a solution, ensure it is delivered. Reliability builds trust, and guests who see that you took their concerns seriously often become some of your most loyal fans.

Consider sending a personal follow-up note or even a small gesture of appreciation. These actions go a long way toward turning a negative into a positive.

Know when to let go

Unfortunately, not every interaction can be saved. If a customer’s behavior becomes abusive, you need to end the interaction immediately. At that point, defer to a supervisor, security or law enforcement if necessary.

Your team’s safety and dignity must always come first.

See complaints as gifts 

Complaints are often gifts. They show you problems that silent customers might walk away from without giving you a chance to fix them. Use legitimate complaints as learning tools to improve systems, training and communication.

A personal touch

One powerful technique is to send a handwritten note by mail after the dust has settled. Thank the guest for bringing the issue to your attention, explain what you’ve done to address it and invite them back.

In our digital age, a personal letter stands out and can rebuild loyalty in a way few other gestures can. Who knows? They may become one of your raving brand ambassadors.

Showing you care 

Angry customers are never easy to face, but they are a fact of business life.

With empathy, composure, clear communication and reliable follow-through, you can turn even the toughest encounters into opportunities. 

Sometimes, your most frustrated guests become your strongest advocates — simply because you showed them you care.

About the author

Nancy Marshall, a regular Mainebiz columnist, is CEO of Marshall Communications.

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